Talk About Housing (January 21, 2008)

“It’s a no-brainer.  You can’t miss.  You don’t need a job and you don’t need any income.  Okay, so you already have two strikes going against you, but they really don’t care.  Just lie and tell them you are unemployed with no income.  Buy and ride it up and then sell.  You don’t even have to paint the place.”

“You have to heat it.”

“You can get one place and flip it and then get another one and flip it.”

“It will flop.  And you must insure it.  In my book, insurance is necessary but not productive.”

“Everyone’s doin’ in.  It can’t fail.”

“And more taxes.  They give you enticing tax breaks to acquire a bigger palace that is then subject to higher taxes.  My digs are already too big.”

“I shared one bathroom with three others and now I have four to myself.  I can shower in three different showers.  One is a steam bath.  Now, that’s livin’.”

“And buy more furniture.”

“I can sleep in one of five bedrooms.  I had to share a room with my brother.”

“Prices will collapse by 2006, 2007 at the latest.”

“No way.  This is America.”

“They take the bait and call in.  They are already hooked.  Operators standing by to assist you.  No one stands by to assist you.  I sold some old lady in Florida, some seventy-something widow, a loan for $44,000 on a property she owned free and clear.  She had enough income to cover her expenses, but I told her she needed more and told her she knew it because she called the number.  She can cover the early payments, and I’ll be gone before she realizes what hit her.”

“Seems sporting.”

“It was her decision.”

”Seems that someone in her seventies doesn’t always make sound decisions.”

“Look, this is America.  The land of the free.  The home of the brave.  Apple pie.  All that stuff.  She is free to make her own decisions.  And anyway, she’s old, she can eat dog food.”

Bumper sticker of the week:

Let Them Eat Dog Food

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