Archive for December, 2010

Henrietta And Henry O, Two Young Lovers: The Contemporary Gift Of The Magi (December 27, 2010)

Posted in Perjury/Dishonesty, Society on December 27, 2010 by

. . .

GF        “I’ve known her since seventh grade at Diogenes Junior High, you know, and do everything with her.  I know all her secrets.  She is my BFF.  Henri met this guy, her BF, it was time.  We talked about it, but I wasn’t even sure what she should tell him.  If she was honest, he might leave.  She decided not to mention it until after the wedding.  After the wedding, of course, they could be honest with each other.  They were living together, but her mail came to her work address.  She knew that he might see her mail and open it.  Plus they put some money in a joint checking account.  A few weeks after the wedding, she worked up the courage to bring up the issue.  Even he sensed that something was up.  She came right out and told him that she had upwards of $29,000 in credit card debt.  For a few seconds, she said, he looked dazed and bewildered until he recovered and smiled and said that he had something to tell her.  Henry had almost, like, $38,000 in credit card debt.  She was floored and almost went through the roof.  Henri is usually practical.  Things just got out of hand.  She does not have any idea how they are going to pay it off.  They are looking at so many more expenses as it is.  She is still numb.”

. . .

Bumper stickers of the week:

Everything is as it seems



If you’re debt-free,  I’m single.  (If I’m in debt, you’re married.)

Remember that it is as easy to fall in love with a debt-free man as it is to fall in love with a poor man.

Be wise

It’s a wonderful life

Find the good and the joy; they are out there somewhere

Immanentize The Eschaton: Move To Sunny Somalia (December 20, 2010)

Posted in Antitrust, Immanentizing The Eschaton, O'Bama, Political Parties, Politics, Tea Party on December 20, 2010 by

. . .

I          “You can indeed immanentize the eschaton.”

T          “The what?”

I          “Immanentize the eschaton.  Achieve utopia.  Create heaven on Earth.  Promote your own Maslowian self-realization by immanentizing the eschaton.”

T          “What?”

I          “You don’t want any government regulation, right.”

T          “None.”

I          “The market cures all, you say.”

T          “Right.  The market rules.”

I          “You vote with your dollars and decide which businesses survive and which don’t.  Unless there is only one monopoly player in each industry.  In that situation, there is absolutely and unambiguously no market solution.”

T          “Don’t tread on me.”

I          “You cannot have free markets unless you have free markets.  Every business is in business to put its competitors and the free market out of business.  Only one countervailing force is available.  That is us working through and with another institution that we love to castigate.”

T          “I want my freedom.”

I          “A beast with ‘Inc.’ as its surname is as dangerous as one with ‘Bureau’ as its first name.  Big business can take away your freedom as easily as big government.  The Constitution constrains the government and protects you.  However, the Constitution only constrains big business and only protects you if the government is there to uphold and enforce the law.”

T          “I want my country back.”

I          “Then go back.  If you are so hot to trot, why not trot on over to where it is hot.  Trot on over to your utopia, your heaven on Earth, your eschaton.  Jump a Pan Am or TWA flight to sunny Somalia.”

T          “Somalia!  The utopia cannot be in Asia.  By definition.  It has to be here.  In ‘Merica.”

I          “By definition.”

T          “We are exceptional.”

I          “We certainly are.  What about Somali exceptionalism?”

T          “They aren’t exceptional, whoever they are.”

I          “I take exception.  They may not be the exception, the way we are heading.”

. . .

Bumper stickers of the week:

I’d rather not entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory or to the faculty of Harvard University.

Why don’t those who have already immanetized the eschaton want others to immanentize the eschaton?

My grandparents went to Somalia and all I got was this lousy t-shirt that says:  “Don’t immanentize the eschaton.”

If O’Bama gets re-elected, I’m moving to Somalia

The Big Decision (December 13, 2010)

Posted in Gay Politics, Society on December 13, 2010 by

. . .

S1       “Last night, while surveying the fare on AM radio, some wingnut decreed that we select our sexuality.  I’ve heard that comment a thousand times before and disregarded it without reflection.  Yet for the first time every other thought process stopped and focused on analyzing the allegation.”

S2       “An epiphany.”

S1       “Seems so.  The only life event I could uncover in my search is an episode in fourth grade when Mike’s mom had car pool duty.  After she tendered delivery of us to class to make sure we did not sneak off to the tree house again, Larry and I watched her slip away.  Both of us watched her walking on line across the playground and then looked at each other and then looked back at her and then looked at each other and then looked at her and then looked at each other and then looked at her until she disappeared into the distance.  Then we looked at each other.  I sensed that he sensed that something was going on; he sensed that I sensed that something was going on.  We did not know what to say; we did not say a word.”

S2       “Sounds ineffable.”

S1       “Speechless.  Especially at that age.  Life is coming at you real fast.  Mike selected his mom skillfully.”

S2       “In matters of health and wealth, pick your parents carefully.”

S1       “Looking back, she must have been between 32 and 36 and quite the looker, as graceful and gracile as Grace Kelly.  But I really don’t know that it was a formal deliberative process and reflective decision.  When did you decide?”

S2       “Beats me.  Never thought about it.”

. . .

Bumper stickers of the week:

What day did you decide?

I am, therefore I think

As I recall, I think the day that I decided would have been June 31 in the afternoon to the best of my recollection, as I recall.  I had thought about it for months.  It was a close call.  There were so many factors to weigh.

“Does a person select his or her sexuality?”  “It’s a state’s rights issue,” the candidate proclaimed with a vacant and feral look.

Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t think; ask, tell, think

“You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t.”  “Dear Abby”  John Prine

Practical Price Theory in Practice (December 6, 2010)

Posted in Economics, Journalism, Market Solutions, Society on December 6, 2010 by

. . .

L          “So you want to maximize attendance?”

M          “It’s a polemical movie.  We want to get as many eyes and ears in the seats as possible.  We have already committed the funds to rent the theater and the movie.  Student volunteers are running it.”

L          “If you offer the movie for free, it may not be worth anything.  Only the committed will attend.  Why not make the movie valuable.  The price of similar movies on campus is three dollars whereas in my day it was one dollar.  State that the cost of a ticket is 25 cents and then print ‘SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE’ in a large font on the pamphlet to entice interest.”

M          “It could peg the value at a quarter and thus not worth considering.”

L          “It might.  And you don’t want to dissuade someone who may not care about the money but does not want to be hassled searching for a quarter.  When someone asks what must be done to obtain the scholarship, ask him or her to state in 25 or fewer words what the movie means to him or her.  Pause and then agree that they are deserving of the scholarship.  Call it ‘Two Bits Production’.”

. . .

M          “We did attract far more viewers than we expected and made some money.  Because of the delay in the line for those seeking scholarships, we set up a second table to conduct the interview, streamlined it to twenty-five seconds and kept the conversation light.”

L          “Super.  It was raining outside that night which may have kept some at home or, if they left the house, drove them inside.  And nothing else was playing in town that night that would appeal to the demographic.  Keep up the experiments.  And keep up the reports.”

. . .

Bumper stickers of the week:

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”  Oscar Wilde

“At the usual daily rate, The Wall Street Journal would cost $999 for the entire semester, but you can subscribe today and today only for the low, low rate of 25 cents a semester.”