Officious B-crats. Made In The U.S.A. (June 6, 2011)
. . .
[0911 hours]
B “You shall punch two holes at the top of the pleading.”
C “What if you receive a pleading without two holes punched at the top of the pleading?”
B “We reject it.”
C “Even if it is a Motion For Stay Of Execution?”
B “Don’t care if it’s not right. Rules are rules.”
C “I’m not talking about a stay of execution of a foreclose of a debt involving a fork lift, I’m talking about a stay of execution of a person.”
B “Don’t care if it’s not right. Rules are rules. That is why they are rules. Rules rule. Two holes punched at the top of the pleading.”
. . .
[0937 hours]
C “Do you know where the Recorder’s Office is located?”
B “Do I look like a receptionist? No, I don’t look like a receptionist. I don’t look like a receptionist because I’m not a receptionist. Do I really look like a receptionist?”
C “You look like a person. You look like a person receiving a pay chcck from the government. You look like a person who might know which agencies are in the building.”
B “Ask the receptionist.”
C “Where do I find the receptionist?”
B “There is no receptionist. We don’t have a receptionist. I don’t know where the Recorder’s Office is located.”
. . .
[0942 hours]
B “We don’t record documents with two holes punched at the top of the pleading. Period.”
C “The court required two holes to be punched at the top of the pleading.”
B “Don’t care if it’s not right. There are rules.”
C “I can’t remove the holes. The statute says that every properly signed and notarized document ‘shall’ be recorded. ‘Shall’ is a mandatory verb. That wording actually makes life easier for all of us.”
B “It’s discretionary around here.”
C “Now today is a Tuesday. On Tuesdays, some supervisors exercise discretion and record a document even if it has court-ordered holes in it.”
B “Well, it is in fact Tuesday, we can make an exception this time and follow the statute, if you insist.”
. . .
[“Now the hired help is taking home regular paychecks. I don’t. The hired help has generous health care. I don’t. The hired help has been promised that they will receive a defined benefit retirement plan until they depart this planet. I won’t. The response of the ‘receptionist’ is not dictated by some absurd official policy. And here on the wall near his office is a sign noting that the Recorder’s Office is down the hall to the left. He may be a private sector contract employee who suspects that the contractor who may file bankruptcy to shed any financial obligations, yet he is receiving a regular paycheck. Not far below the surface, Americans are angry, bitter, raging, frustrated and percolating. Seems that some are working, although something is not working.”]
Bumper stickers of the week:
“Hold it [the chicken] between your knees.” Jack Nicholson / Robert “Bobby” Eroica Dupea in “Five Easy Pieces” (1970) (With a little finesse, he could have gotten the toast without anyone getting toasted.)
Tear, fold, spindle and mutilate
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