Texas Votes To Secede From U.S. And Join Mexico; Russia Blows Up World In Response (March 17, 2014)

. . .

1          “What did you expect.”

2          “You can’t really blame them.”

1          “They really deserved it.”

. . .

1          “Most national security issues are exacerbated by the personal insecurities of those in power who inflame the personal insecurities of the people who are powerless and frightened.”

. . .

1          “In last night’s special election, Texans voted overwhelmingly to secede and create a sovereign and independent nation heavily dependent on grants, welfare, kickbacks, foreign aid and transfer payments from the United States of America.  Scholars are remarking that it was the first honest plebiscite in recent Texas history.”

. . .  

2          “In related developments, Austin seceded from the seceding Texas and joined the People’s Republic of Portland.  A concert is scheduled.”

. . .

1          “Remember the Monroe Doctrine.  The policy viewed further efforts by European nations to colonize land or interfere with states in North and South America as acts of aggression requiring U.S. intervention.”

2          “The young United States of America issued the Monroe Doctrine at a time when the U.S. Navy had one row boat and the U.S. Army had one musket that was shared by underpaid and courageous patriots.”

1          “Remember the Monroevich Doctrine, the son of the Monroe Doctrine.  Another American idea exported to the world without due credit.  The policy views further efforts by European and American nations to colonize land or interfere with states in Russia as acts of aggression requiring Russian intervention.  Even some Republicans insecure about their manhood admit that Russia’s Monroevich Doctrine clearly justifies Russia’s actions even if we do not like them.”

2          “The Russians or the actions?” 

1          “Or the Republicans?” 

. . .

1          “Just between you and me, Putin is as insecure and as dangerous as the Republicans who are having fun criticizing him, but Putin is more of a nasty thug and a nut job.”

2          “Throughout the decades, we have always relied on the Russians to be about as rational in a pinch as we are.”

1          “Most of the time.”

. . .

1          “A more measured response short of blowing up the world would have been so . . . lame.”

. . .

2          “Once again the Black Irishman is tasked with being the adult in the room.”

. . .

This article must be revised to reflect the following correction:

Texas did not vote to secede from the U.S. and join Mexico.  Russia did not blow up the world in response.  We regret the error.

[Have a peaceful St. Patrick’s Day and productive twenty-fifth anniversary of the World Wide Web.]

Bumper stickers of the week:

Free Texas.  Take Texas.  Pleas, please.

Keep Austin Weird.  And free.

Remember The Monroevich Doctrine

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